having boundaries doesn't make you a bad co-parent.
“Thank you for the openness with which you talk about your partner’s abusive ex. It has been a long journey for us learning to cope and having the right boundaries. Your work has made a huge difference to our lives!”
My husband Dan followed all the standard co-parenting advice:
he stayed flexible and friendly, he addressed his ex’s concerns, he didn’t talk smack about her in front of his kid.
He truly viewed co-parenting as a collaborative effort and went above and beyond trying to meet his ex halfway.
In return, his ex just got angrier and more difficult. 🙃
TURNS OUT THAT CO-PARENTING WITH A HIGH-CONFLICT EX ISN’T LIKE REGULAR CO-PARENTING.
When the ex is toxic AF, typical co-parenting does not work… and can even make things worse between houses.
The rules for co-parenting in high conflict are very, very different.
Which is why Dan & I created HIGH CONFLICT CO-PARENTING: BETTER BOUNDARIES, NOT MORE COMPROMISE — a workshop to help you end the toxic cycle of arguing in circles and feeling like you’ve gotta jump every time the ex says frog.
We spent years co-parenting the wrong way.
“Your high conflict tips have been our lifeline. We were so frustrated and disheartened when the ‘typical’ blended family advice didn’t work for us. And then we found your work and were like oh, that’s why we felt that way! Turns out normal coparenting rules don’t apply when you’re in a high conflict situation. You made us feel less alone, and more importantly, more confident in our abilities to make decisions for our family. You’re literally the best. ❤️”
Hi, we're Dan & Maarit, the faces behind Blended Family Frappé and involuntary experts in high-conflict co-parenting!
TRYING TO CO-PARENT THE “NORMAL” WAY BACKFIRED ON US BIG TIME.
We bent over for the ex constantly. We agreed to schedules that screwed us over. We let the ex impose rules within our house. We kept our mouths shut when she trashed us to the kids.
We did all of this thinking that was what was best for my stepdaughter and our whole family.
We thought, well, this is how you're supposed to co-parent, right? We don't want to be accused of being difficult. We don't want saying "no" to be used against us.
That kind of thinking very nearly cost us our family, not to mention our sanity.
Eventually, through counseling, research, and sheer desperation, we figured out how to get our lives back. And in this workshop, we’ll give you the tools you need to get your lives back too. Not by making the ex less high-conflict (that's impossible), but by changing how you respond to the chaos.
“You’ve helped me more than you could ever know during a very dark time for me. I felt so alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I don’t know if we are out of the woods yet but we are definitely in a good place now.”
THIS CO-PARENTING WORKSHOP IS FOR YOU IF:
➡️ You keep bending over backwards to keep the ex happy, but they're still never satisfied
➡️ Every "compromise" means you give up more while they give up nothing
➡️ You're scared that standing up for yourself will mean less time with your kids
➡️ The kids keep getting stuck in the middle despite your best efforts to protect them
WITH THE RIGHT TOOLS, TIPS, AND BOUNDARIES IN PLACE, CO-PARENTING WITH A DIFFICULT EX CAN BECOME A WHOLE LOT LESS CRAZY-MAKING.
IN this workshop, you’ll learn:
✓ How to tell whether your co-parent is high conflict (hint: it's not just about yelling and drama)
✓ Why you can't actually co-parent with a high-conflict person and what to do instead
✓ Why compromising more is a disaster with someone who's high conflict
✓ How high-conflict co-parenting affects the kids and how to protect them
✓ Boundaries 101: What they are, how to set them, and how to stick to them when the pressure's on
✓ Parallel parenting and other game-changing strategies to minimize conflict between houses
✓ New tools to reclaim your sanity like office hours, BIFF responses, and the “grey rock” method
You can get off the roller coaster. You can protect your kids. You can reclaim your life.
YOU HAVE JUST AS MUCH POWER AS THE EX, NO MATTER HOW LOUD & SCARY THEY SEEM.
need more help? start here!